Aum Sairam
Quality of Devotion: Why can't it be the same at all times?
Let us begin with the basic truth that we are humans foremost. God made us imperfect and this is why we cannot have a stable or similar response to the same situation we face at different times in our lives. Those of us who rise above the basic fallibility of human nature are called saints, saints learn to conquer emotions. Where do emotions come from, situations no, they are a result of our mind. The mind being the finest gift of God to mankind compared to other living beings is also the worst, because it is this mind which leads us through a kaleidoscope of emotions.
Having said the above on the human weaknesses, in my humble opinion, this is the major cause of our devotion not being the same at all times. Let me tell you my own experiences to explain my point of view. I am extremely blessed to be under the Merciful gaze of Sri Sai Baba and there is a wealth of experiences that I have the honor of being a part of and sometimes I feel that this is more than what one could hope for, during a lifetime. Sri Sai Baba has given me peace of mind through extremely troubled times because of a personal issue, a fantastic break in my career. Most importantly, He has shown me a Guru who has led me on Sri Sai Baba's path through these years. I chant Sri Sai Baba's glorious name most of the conscious time I spend in a day, offer Him everything I eat, drink and at the end of the day, thank Him for another wonderful day in my life. Amongst all these highs, my unresolved personal problem comes to mind and all kinds of negative thoughts float around anger, self pity, depression, envy for others who seem to be better off.
Be happy remembering what you are fortunate to have, don't think of what you don't have but it is not so. It is the human mind and the basic human nature which makes devotion different at different times. My fault here is that I do not exercise enough control on my mind to take it away from these negative thoughts. I am not saying that we can eliminate the negative thoughts, but we can definitely reduce the frequency of their occurrence or curb them when they do come up. But in the end, I know in my heart that He will give me what I need and that is not always what I want. Everything He gives me is for my good and I may not realize this at the time it happens.
Well, however bad my mood swings be, I come back to Him and love Him as much as I do and even more, for the Kindness He has shown me and the blessing of having His grace in my life.
Allah Malik
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