I Will Seek Him

Aum Sairam

Even when we don't think we know, our soul knows. Our soul knows whom it seeks and for what. Part of the reason we so easily sleep through our life is because our soul does not feel fulfilled. It does not communicate to us that the love for which it longs has been found and claimed. Because we do not know this fulfillment, we seek to find it through the normal, natural, regular means of daily life. When nothing in the normal, natural, regular daily pattern satisfies our deep longing, we simply go on autopilot and relax into a state of somnolence. Every once in a while our eyes flutter and we cast a glance around to see if there has been any change – if our soul has found what it is looking for. And, once in a while, we catch a glimpse of that love that is beyond description, beyond manipulation, beyond comprehension, and for an instant our soul is wakened. When the normal, natural, regular patterns return again, however, our eyes close back down.

In those short moments when love slips through the gap of our sleep, filling our soul with delight and fullness, we might choose instead to fully waken ourselves. We might hold onto those moments as if they were gold. We might, like Neo in the movie The Matrix, refuse to return to our sleepy, rather lifeless state and seek instead to find the object of our soul's desire. We might seek the Holy One until the Holy One is found. We might find our souls touching the gate of heaven.

Oh God, when the sliver of your love slices my soul, waken me to run after you until I run head long into your embrace.

Allah Malik